I was in fourth grade when I went to the wedding of my childhood pastor. I was enamored with the couple in front of me. As a nine-year-old, I sat at the reception table after the ceremony and silently prayed, “Lord, I want to be a pastor’s wife one day.” I...
For as long as I can remember, my biggest struggles were feeling inadequate and unworthy. I was told for a large part of my life that I would never amount to anything by someone I was supposed to be able to turn to. I had no idea where to find self-worth, and there...
Humans make terrible mistakes; we can deeply hurt the ones we love and leave scars. We don’t remember why, or the why is not important anymore, but the scars remain. One of the most difficult, hurtful relationships in my life was with my mother. Her unhappiness...
I grew up as the only child of two very functional alcoholics/drug users. My early years consisted of tremendous uncertainty and many secrets. My dad was a very angry man and we never knew what kind of mood he would be in. He...
After living a promiscuous life, wrecking relationships and trying drugs in my 20s, I was as empty as ever. I remember wanting to feel clean and being ashamed of the horrible reputation I had. I was searching for my value in others. I wanted to feel safe and...
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV) I have had many tears and sorrows. They began when my fourteen-year old sister died of cancer when I was nine...
I had been happy and content as a stay-at-home mom for 10 years. But after turning 30, I began to struggle with my identity. I started searching for validation, empowerment and purpose from outside voices and opinions. I joined a fitness group and found exactly what I...
When I left home for my first year of college I was met head-on with crippling social anxiety and depression. I was all alone at an out-of-state school and in my loneliness and isolation, I began shopping to fill the void. I loaded up on new clothes, food, and things...
At the age of 42, I found out that I had survived two attempts to end my life before I took my first breath. When my mom found out she was pregnant with me, it was not a great time in her life to have another baby. She had an 18-year-old daughter, no kids in...